Operation OBH Suspended

Pasted Graphic


As
Operation Oust-Baby-Hu enters its third day, hope for timely delivery of the project begins to fade. A tactical recalibration of the delivery timetable may now be required. The consignment is in stasis.

Over the last few days, I have conducted a campaign of displacement based on the strategically compelling foundations of conjecture, wishful thinking and mythology. The offensive began quietly on Tuesday morning with a low-key reflexology session and accelerated quickly that afternoon over a number of speed bumps in the North Dublin area. On Wednesday, the onslaught continued as needles were inserted into key vantage points on the skin and driven into the underlying nerves (this is similar to waterboarding vis-a-vis levels of unpleasantness and appears to be significantly less effective). A pineapple was consumed. On Thursday, the subject overdosed on raspberry leaf tea in a valiant effort to flush Baby Hu out of his/her hiding place - a tactic which backfired and resulted in hourly nocturnal trips to the bathroom. This morning, in desperation, more needles were again inserted into nerves, more tea was drunk and more pineapples were consumed.

Baby Hu remains ensconced in the trench and is refusing to budge. It occasionally launches decoy physical assaults on surrounding organs which are most likely intended to confuse and vex subject. Both sides have agreed to a weekend ceasefire. Engagement will resume on Monday morning at an undetermined time.

blog comments powered by Disqus