An Open Letter to Apple and China

apple
Dear Apple and China,

You seem to be friends. Everywhere I look in China, I see Apple. There are unnecessarily large Apple megastores popping up on every thoroughfare in Shanghai. As we speak, the latest addition is set to open beside my Gucci cornerstore - all glass and chrome and white - not unlike the special place that Superman went to when he wanted to talk to the holograms of his parents. I get it - you’re new best friends. Maybe there’s a bit of romance there but it’s hard to tell - technology companies and communist superpowers are so gender fuzzy.

You know, also, that I am a fan of you both - despite the fact that you’re both overpriced and one of you is dirty (ok, maybe because of it). I don’t mean any disrespect and I don’t want to burst the crazy love bubble you seem to have built around you but am I the only person who sees the fundamental flaw in your relationship? You are not compatible.

China, you don’t really love Apple, not really. If you did, you wouldn’t have designed all your online banking and payments systems to work exclusively with Internet Explorer which, as I’ve just discovered, only functions on PCs. No, China, if you really loved Apple you would not have done that - either to Apple, or to me. I just spent two hours of my precious nap time (the time is mine but the napping is someone else’s) trying to find a way around this. “It can’t be!”, I thought. China wouldn’t have done that to Apple - not with all the megastores and the love and the iMadness. “And”, I further reasoned, “if China had done that to Apple, would Apple not be hurt and withdrawn rather than triumphantly constructing another useless megastore in which you can buy products THAT DON’T WORK IN CHINA!?”.

None of this makes sense, but maybe that’s love.

For my part, I love both of you a little less today than I did yesterday.

Kind regards,

A Former Sine-apple-phile.

PS - Your relationship is doomed.
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