99% of Twitter is painful - a mass exposé of the boringness of other people’s thoughts…in bite-sized form. Blogs, other other hand, are an exposé of the boringness of other people’s thoughts…ad nauseum. I apologize for that.
No-one writes anything interesting on Twitter, not even Stephen Fry who is surprisingly not funny in mini. It’s a tricky medium for comedy. The one person who has it nailed though is Honest Toddler. Sometimes I wonder if I find it funny because Baby A will one day be a toddler or because I have the undeveloped sense of humor of a toddler…but I think that it’s just f’hilarious.
Some examples of Honest Toddler tweets:
▪ "If you love someone let them go." What kind of nonsense if that. If you love someone pick them up.
▪ How would you go about fixing a house plant if someone accidentally removed all of the leaves? No judgement please.
▪ How am I supposed to learn my numbers when she keeps using 1, 2 and 3 as threats?
▪ How many times does a grown up need to yawn in the morning before they have enough oxygen. Drama.
▪ If I were meant to wear pants I would've been born with them on. Science.
There’s another one called S**t My Dad Says. This guy posts the insights of his old, grumpy, objectionable father e.g. “You can't come...Because it's not a vacation if my family is with me. I could vacation in my fucking house if you people left it.”. Apologies for the crude language but I actually could not find an example that didn’t have a bold word in it.
Anyway, I would never write a blog or Twitter feed mocking my father, mostly because he would likely come over here and beat me with fishing tackle. Plus, a lot of what my dad says is either about economics or ancient Greece - sometimes the two of them together and, forgive me, but S**t That Parmenides Said just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Mr Oh, on the other hand, says all kinds of things…some of them very odd. I feel it is my duty to record some of his out-loud-thoughts so that when he’s old and the doctor suspects he might be suffering from dementia I can say ‘No, he’s always been that way”.
Last night when I tried to give him Baby A: